m e a n
by mirajens
Summary: Eileen, when she wants to be kissed, looks just a little mean.


**note:** this is just smut and drugs and gals bein pals. there is nothing I like better.

.

.

 **m e a n**

.

.

Eileen, when she wants to be kissed, looks just a little mean.

Her eyes go half-lidded with a daring look in them. Her lips part, just a bit, and she looks like she's about to say something cruel. Anna can never tell anyway, since she always takes the bait; always bites into Eileen's fatter bottom lip before licking into a mouth that tastes like chemicals.

Eileen only does this sort of thing when she's high. That is, kiss girls before fucking them before leaving them. Otherwise, she never bothers. Some days, Anna doesn't mind. It's hard to love such a wild thing when she's not as high. She likes Eileen on MDMA best because she's mellow like that and the sex doesn't feel quite as rushed and cheap as it normally does.

The first time they fucked, Eileen was riding high and Anna was stone-cold sober. Later that night as she sobbed into her mattress, Anna decided she hated it (that is, sex with Eileen, drugs with Eileen, ruination with Eileen) enough never to do it off the bud, but not enough to never do it again.

She wonders if she's in love. The sex can't be enough to have her so hooked like this, and it certainly isn't the substance abuse. But then again, love is probably not supposed to feel this nasty. It's not supposed to make her question everything she's ever known or make her want to do stupid, dangerous things.

Half-kneeling on the floor and seated on her calves, Anna looks up from Eileen's spread legs to her pretty brown eyes and tries to find the answers there. Anna knows she's giving good enough head for Eileen's eyes to screw shut and her jaw to go rigid but Eileen keeps her gaze, always mean, always daring. For a while and not for the first time, Anna wonders if Eileen is human. Anna thinks that there is so much madness in Eileen that it feels like having wildfire in her arms.

Even when she comes, Eileen is quite singular in the sense that her reactions are odd. Before she moans and turns to putty, her blood-red lips twist into that familiar, cruel smile. The sight of it always makes Anna uneasy.

"Fantastic! On the bed, darling. We're not through."

Anna obeys. It's rare that she does otherwise. With Eileen, there's no room for noncompliance or hesitation. With her back on the downy mattress, Anna watches Eileen approach, unfailingly predatory in gait and gaze. When Eileen is close enough, heavy breasts just inches from her own, the staccato of her breath distinct despite being unobtrusive, Anna unthinkingly reaches up to grab at locks of scarlet that slipped past Eileen's bare shoulders. Almost immediately, Anna recognizes her fault when she sees Eileen's eyes frost over.

"Hands off, lovely. You've been so good so far."

Anna removes her hands and keep them fisted by her head, right where Eileen can see. Of course. How could she forget? "Sorry."

"Don't murmur. It's not attractive."

Anna almost does it again, but forgets to do so when Eileen's touch begins. She watches a hand rove over the plane of her belly and the curve of her breast, but it's gone all too soon. Anna directs her attention onto Eileen's face, irritated once again. It was easy to make her so.

"On your belly. I hate how you look at me."

And Anna assumes that Eileen means that there is an awed, exalting look on her face yet again. It shames her to be caught adoring a woman who doesn't want her. Humiliated, Anna rolls onto her front, eyes kept dutifully straight. Behind her, she feels Eileen nudge her legs apart with her knees. Soon enough, skin on skin intensifies when Eileen presses her chest to Anna's back.

"You're so good until you forget what this is, Anna," Eileen says right by Anna's ear. The soft breath against the sensitive skin of her neck makes Anna shiver. "You can't love me. That's not in the rules."

 _What rules?_ Anna wonders. She can't remember any that have been discussed. Eileen just gets irritated when some things happen and she doesn't bother to explain. But soon enough, Anna forgets to think because Eileen's fingers prod at the bundle of nerves between her legs. She moans into the mattress, her hands gripping at the sheets.

"Eileen," Anna can barely recognize her voice, raw and needy. "Do that again."

She can't see the smirk on Eileen's lips but she can hear it in her tone. "Please?"

The teasing between her legs intensifies. Anna shakes, sobs. "Please."

As Eileen proceeds with her skillful ministrations, she leans over the blonde closer, licking the alluringly pink skin of Anna's shoulder before biting the skin there. Anna cries out, oversensitive all over from too much stimuli. In no time, she is trembling and her breathing is erratic. All at once, her muscles go from taut to slack, aching satisfyingly. Before Anna can even catch her breath, she can feel Eileen peel herself off and start the search for her clothes. She was always so manic when they finished, always quick to leave, sure to make Anna feel that she is here for no more than sex.

"Message me when you make it home?" Anna calls out, straining to roll onto her back again so she can watch Eileen.

As expected, frown lines dig into the space between Eileen's brows. She hums idly instead of answering as she slips the scrap of jet black lace over her behind.

Anna sighs. What did she expect? She turns onto her side, grabbing at an overstuffed pillow to push under her head and pulling the turned down duvet over her body. She'll shower later.

She's listening for the sounds of Eileen's retreat, a familiar lullaby. The sounds of clothes shifting, a purse being hefted, keys jangling, shoes being worn. Anna doesn't even feel the bitterness for it anymore. When the door clicks shut after Eileen, Anna closes her eyes and succumbs to tiredness.

.

.

 **note:** For the record, this had _no_ chance to not be gauche. The premise of this alone begs it to be gauche. I'm 3 wines in so im not makin a lot of good life choices rn.


End file.
